Oh, I couldn’t be scared of you!
Okay, I know you have me backed into this corner, and that there’s nothing I can do to defend myself against your attack. And I know that in a moment you will use those razor-sharp claws to tear into my flesh and render me lifeless and mutilated. I know all that, but still, I just gotta say, you are SO DARN CUTE!!!
I mean, you could be holding a severed head in your mouth – like you probably will be, as soon as you’re done with me – and I’d still look at you and think, “What a widdle snookems!” And you’re purring?! OMG! Too precious! Yeah, sure: I understand that this shows that you take sadistic pleasure in carving people into virtually unrecognizable piles of entrails and gore, but gosh, just listen to you!!!
Well, jeez, we better hurry up, or I might DIE OF A CUTENESS OVERLOAD before you can even open me up! So c’mon! Let’s do this! Here kitty, kitty, kitty!
Wear this shirt: to show your parents that you’re finally growing up.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you think Chuckie rules and Freddy drools.
This shirt tells the world: “Cute can kill.”
We call this color: Olive your limbs are belong to us.
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