For the person who, on average, is better than average.

There’s nothing unusual about having an inflated opinion of oneself. Every woman thinks she the best taste in shoes. Every man thinks he could take his best friend in a fight. Every American thinks he or she is the best driver on the road. And there’s probably someone in Parliament who just knows he could have ruled the world if only England had first developed the A-Bomb.

But as ubiquitous as this self-overrating tendency is, it’s bad form to flaunt it. This 3.5-star rating strikes the perfect balance between modesty and pomposity. Now you can seem like you’re one of the common people. And nobody ever has to know about the five stars you’re assign yourself in your own mind.

Wear this shirt: show people you’re better than they are, but you’re too modest to make a big deal out of it.

Don’t wear this shirt: Afghanistan. The red-star motif might get you mistaken for a leftover Soviet soldier.

This shirt tells the world: “This rating based on one user review – but it’s the only one that matters.”

We call this color:

Above-Average Asphalt

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