2nd place in Derby #281: Things That Start With the Letter N, Editor's Choice.

What are the Northern Lights? Nobody knows for sure. But there are theories.

Theory #1: the Northern Lights are just clouds of brightly colored insects looking down on us and conspiring.

Theory #2: the Northern Lights are the exhaust of spaceships that the government DOESN'T WANT YOU TO KNOW ABOUT!

Theory #3: the Northern Lights are the atmosphere's skin sheddings.

Theory #4: the Northern Lights are what happens when the sun reflects off the moon's flatulence.

Theory #5: there are no Northern Lights; what we believe to be the Northern Lights is actually just a highly contagious but benign eye disease.

Wear this shirt: during the day to remind you of the night.

Don't wear this shirt: in the pitch dark. What's the point if no one can see it?!

This shirt tells the world: "I was into sky fall before Skyfall."

We call this color: black, interrupted.

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