3rd Place in Derby #370: Adorable, with 245 votes!

Some things you may not know about penguins.

• 52% of penguins in Siberia suffer from alcoholism.
• Ancient Greeks entered the city of Troy using immense wooden penguins secretly filled with sprinkles.
• All penguins born before 1970 were made entirely of asbestos.
• Penguins can, indeed, possess Happy Feet, but only with the aid of SSRIs.
• Genghis Khan married six women and one penguin of undetermined gender.
• Penguins can be tapped for delicious and heart-healthy syrup.
• Penguins are prone to jealousy and struggle to maintain healthy relationships.
• Isaac Newton wrote his theory of universal gravitation after seeing a penguin plunge from space, then burst into flames on atmospheric reentry.
• Penguins were purchased by the Sara Lee corporation and marketed as lingerie in the 1990s.
• Penguins get their distinctive waddle from their swollen and debilitating cankles.
• Penguin antlers can be used for stew.
• Penguins are eager and enthusiastic cannibals.
• Queen Elizabeth owns 5 Corgis, 8 penguins, AND Canadian funny man Martin Short.
• Penguins spontaneously ignite when tickled. Get out there and start a-ticklin’!

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