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Nothing Wasted

by tgentry

$19.00 + free shipping
Royal Blue
New
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Mar 01 - Mar 03
  • Express - Estimated delivery Mar 01
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members
Add to cart

D’oh! Boy

2nd place in Derby #114: Cooking, with 881 votes!

I’d had it with that corpulent little creep. Always looking over my shoulder, making “helpful” suggestions in the kitchen like I don’t know how to slice up a tube of frozen cookie dough.

“Let me help!” he’d squeak. Sure, you patronizing pudge-ball, because god forbid you let me prepare a meal unsupervised. And that wasn’t even the worst of it. The worst was his disgusting tickling fetish. “Give me one in the belly! Come on, do it! Come on, it’s soft! I like it!”

I guess I snapped. It was easy to get my hands on him. I just approached like I was going to indulge his tickle-kink, and at the last second I seized him in one hand, slammed him flat on his back on a no-stick cookie sheet and thrust him into the oven.

The whole house filled with the sweet scent of his baking flesh, and I breathed it in deeply. Ooh, it was nice. I poured myself a Campari, thought of that final, startled expression that had flashed across his face, and laughed.

Then, in a few short minutes, when he was done, I tore him into hunks and tossed him onto the lawn for the birds. They really seemed to go for him. So I guess he was good for something after all.

Wear this shirt: as a warning to anyone who tries to get in your way while you’re fixing a meal. THIS MEANS YOU, HAMBURGER HELPER.

Don’t wear this shirt: as a way of announcing you’ve “got one in the oven.”

This shirt tells the world: “Who’s giggling now, fatso?”

We call this color: Royal Blue-hooo!

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 3.000s
First Sucker:
OnlyOreo
Last Wooter to Woot:
thomasdavis86

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 95% second woot
  • 5% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 5% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 35% one year old
  • 55% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 95% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

18%
6%
5%
3%
1%
2%
3%
4%
6%
6%
6%
5%
3%
3%
3%
3%
3%
2%
3%
2%
3%
3%
3%
2%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

1%
1%
1%
1%
0%
94%
1%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

Top Comments

What are Top Comments?

Top Comments are discussion forum posts we have deemed worthy of your time. Listen, we get a lot of comments, and most of the time, it's pretty forgettable stuff; but sometimes you rise to the top like butterfat in milk. We don't recommend you base your self-worth on how often we feature your comments, but we don't expressly forbid it either.

join the discussion (117 comments)

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Nothing Wasted by tgentry
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.