First of all, no one even really cared about making one until that kid who used to live on the other end of the street sent all his friends to knock over our snowman. You can’t just let that go. We took some time to mourn, sure, but then we got right to work. While our ground troops did their part, our best minds went to work to create a new idea that could decisively end the conflict once and for all.

In hindsight, everyone can wonder if it was moral, but there was no question in our minds then. Thousands of snowballs were saved by our actions, and we forced a complete surrender. We were the kings of the block, no question. But secrets have a way of getting out.

People say all this buildup is for nothing and that we should put that money towards social programs to put carrot noses back on snowmen. And no one is going to say carrot noses aren’t important. But maybe there’s a bigger picture here. Maybe it’s time to worry about what’s best for the Arctic Skeleton Empire as a whole.

This shirt was designed by: Steven Lefcourt, who swears to you that he did not trace this image from a photo of some broccoli. Go on, gif it up and check.

Wear this shirt: in winter, of course. Immunity to cold.

Don’t wear this shirt: around clerics of equal or higher level. And some paladins, right? It’s been a while since we played, we might need to look this stuff up.

This shirt tells the world: “There will always be a need for mittens. No matter what.”

We call this color: Wight

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