1st place in Derby #119: Flight, with 1301 votes!

Hi, welcome to Polar Air. Did you know you can check in using our automated… oh, okay, that’s fine, I’m happy to help you today. Now, it says here you’ve never travelled with us before, so do you need me to explain our services? Of course, I’d be happy to. First of all, there’s no first class or second class or any of that. We treat all our guests extra special. Secondly, the extras are not included. So if you want peanuts or a blanket or anything like that, you’ll have to bring your own. On some longer flights, drinks are available… oh, you’re only headed to Bransfield Strait? Well, if you need anything, you can purchase it from the machines in the lobby. But remember, you’ll have to do that before you reach the gate, because you won’t be able to return once you’ve passed security.

Okay, now I will need to see a passport or a driver’s license before I can print you a ticket. Hmm. How do I know this is you? I mean, all you penguins look alike to me. What? No, that’s not hate speech, how is it… all right, all right, stop squawking, it’s you, it’s you. Here’s your ticket.

Hey, I hate to do this but I just opened and I don’t have anything but sardines in the till. Is there any chance you have something smaller than a mackerel?

Wear this shirt: and hum the theme from Rocky.

Don’t wear this shirt: in the airport. There’s probably some TSA rule about polar bears and they’ll make you turn it inside out.

This shirt tells the world: “You are now free to move about the cabin.”

We call this color: Baby Blue Skies

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