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One Line One Horn

by Truffleshuffle

$19.00 + free shipping
Royal Blue
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Mar 03 - Mar 04
  • Express - Estimated delivery Mar 01
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Choose Your Own Theology

3rd place in Derby #266: Single Line, Guest Editor Artulo's Pick!

I'm just telling you it's what I'd prefer to believe.

"But it's nonsensical!"

"Is it? Is it any more nonsensical to believe that there's a giant, ambivalent unicorn in the sky who may or may not have created us but definitely does not interfere in our affairs or really even acknowledge our existence?"

"YES!"

"Why?"

"Because no one believes that!"

"I do."

"But it makes no sense! Where does your morality come from?"

"The same place it always has. Myself. I do good things because it feels right, and I want people to treat me nicely in return."

"But how will the evil be punished if your sky unicorn is so ambivalent?!"

"The same way they are now: by the laws we enact and the police and judges that serve and protect us. The sky unicorn doesn't really enter into any of that stuff."

"But you have no guarantee of eternal reward for a life well-lived! You have no guarantee that those who transgress shall be punished for eternity!"

"Yeah, but…neither do you. You just believe that's what happens. The same as me just believing in an ambivalent sky unicorn."

"I- Well- You-"

"Besides, have you really sat and thought about ETERNITY? I don't know if there's anything I would want to go on forever. It kind of kills the appeal. I'll stick with the unicorn, but no hard feelings."

Wear this shirt: While videotaping yourself posing. Make sure "Goodbye Horses" is playing in the background.

Don't wear this shirt: If you remember that scene from The Cabin in the Woods.

This shirt tells the world: "I feel a kinship with androgynous, mythical beasts."

We call this color: Royal Bluenicorn

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Women’s V-Necks

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Tank Tops

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Long Sleeves

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Pullover Hoodies

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Crewneck Sweatshirts

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Zip Hoodies

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Raglans

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 17.336s
First Sucker:
Mystic2
Last Wooter to Woot:
Wooter484402375

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 0% one week old
  • 3% one month old
  • 21% one year old
  • 69% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

7%
5%
4%
2%
1%
1%
2%
5%
6%
8%
7%
5%
6%
5%
4%
4%
5%
1%
4%
3%
4%
3%
4%
3%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

6%
4%
4%
4%
5%
3%
74%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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One Line One Horn by Truffleshuffle
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.