You’ll pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need THE EDGE.

Hey, loose energy. Think you’ve ridden it all? Think you’re tough? Well, come on down to The Primary Earth Dimension this weekend for a THRILL. PACKED. EXPERIENCE. Ride… THE OUROBOROS.

The Ouroboros is over ten billion years of curved spacetime designed to SIT YOU ON YOUR ASS. From the second you arrive through a Big Bang, you’ll move at the speed of light, feeling the excitement of a universe full of black holes, white dwarfs, green giants, even a nebula or two. And then, when it seems like you can’t take any more, you’ll coalesce in a pressured-filled soup alongside some of your best friends, and everything will really COME. TO. LIFE.

That’s right, you’ll be MATTER. Maybe you’ll be a tree. Maybe you’ll be water. Maybe you’ll be a REAL. LIVE. BOY. Nobody knows what happens. All that we can promise you is that, after you’re released back into your original state around the time of cosmic destruction, you’ll be ready to DO. IT. ALL. AGAIN.

Don’t sit around worrying that you can’t be created or destroyed. Ride THE OUROBOROS and discover a brand new state of being. You’ll wish it could all go on… FOREVER.

(all participants must be of legal age relative to the current time/space dimension height limits will be imposed no food or drink will be allowed on the ride energy must obey the ride operator at all times not every rider will become matter some experiences may vary no refunds or credit will be offered for unsatisfactory rides offer void to pandimensional chtonic parasites)

SEE. YOU. THERE.

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