"Don't bring a knife to a gunfight," extended.

Don't bring a small-gun to a big-gunfight.

Don't run through the middle of a gunfight, no matter how many knives you have.

In general, avoid gunfights.

If you end up bringing a knife to a gunfight, use it to wrest a weapon from one of the gunmen. Now you have a gun!

Don't bring a life to a nunfight.

Don't bring a wife to a funfight.

Don't bring a fife to a bunfight.

If you hear gunfire nearby, that's probably a gunfight. Steer clear.

Just because you're in a gunfight doesn't mean you can't have a little fun. Life is short!

Is your knife a throwing-knife? That's better, but still best to just avoid this situation altogether. Go home. Have some tea.

Who is responsible for this gunfight? Demand accountability.

Are people firing the guns, or just pistol-whipping each other? If the latter, your knife is much more suitable.

Really, if you're the type of person who is frequently finding themselves in gunfights, your problems are too big to be solved by a homespun adage. This is going to take some work.

Wear this shirt: in front of the Washington Monument.

Don't wear this shirt: at a punfight.

This shirt tells the world: "Mine's bigger."

We call this color: I got dem drowned-baby blues

Back to top