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Panda Pirate

by Ben Bates

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 19 - Dec 20
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 18
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Whitewashing the Past

Do you people know how horrific pirates actually were?

Everyone likes to look at stuff like this and say things like, "Oh, I bet his name is Bamboo Beard or something! Adorable! Yar, Matey!" without thinking about what they're really endorsing. Piracy is a brutal, horrible crime. We're not talking about stealing some Taylor Swift singles, man.

Even if you go back to the "romantic" period of pirates, when it seemed like half the population was wearing jaunty hats and sailing around the Caribbean on a galleon looking for trouble, it was pretty much plotting, torture, and murder 24/7. George Lowther would put lit fuses between the fingers of his victims until they'd talk. If you fell for the ol' "our flags say we're just a lowly Dutch trading galley oops now that you came close enough we took them down and we're f---ing pirates" trick, you faced the sort of thing Basil Ringrose wrote about: "for not one man there was found but was either killed, desperately wounded, or horribly burnt with powder, insomuch that their black skins were turned white in several places, the powder having torn it from their flesh and bones…. Their blood ran down the decks in whole streams, scarce one place in the ship was found that was free from the blood.” That's if you were lucky. If not, you were probably enslaved until your life, probably brutally shortened due to horrific treatment and abuse, ended.

And that's the "good old days." Pirates are still around today, only instead of a bunch of Errol Flynn types branding cutlasses to swashbuckle, you get a speedboat full of angry dudes holding RPGs pulling next to your boat. But sure, man, celebrate pirates if that's your thing.

Wear this shirt: In support of piracy. Or panda bears.

Don't wear this shirt: If you are actually taken by pirates. They are gonna LAUGH at you.

This shirt tells the world: "Everything's cute if you wait long enough."

We call this color: Black Flag

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
2m 10.771s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 93% second woot
  • 7% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 1% one month old
  • 16% one year old
  • 74% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 93% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Panda Pirate by Ben Bates
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.