1st place in Derby #160: The End of the World, with 967 votes!

“Say, Jack, can you come in here a second?”

“Sure, Tom, what’s wrong?”

“Well… it’s this city! I know we’re the best urban planners on the face of the Earth, but I can’t figure it out at all! I mean… where is it?”

“Hmm, Tom, I see what you mean. There’s the Space Needle… but there’s the Arch, and in between them… the Chrysler Building?”

“I know! It makes no sense! And I think on the end there is the pizza place I used to go to back in North Carolina.”

“And that thing there, that’s GOT to be the Baltimore Aquarium. You’re totally right, Tom. What’s going on?”

“Jack, this city violates all kinds of natural urban evolution laws. It looks like the freakin’ Secret Wars Battleworld. I think, in this situation, there’s only one thing to do.”

“You mean-?”

“That’s right. We’re gonna need to call in the giant panda bear.”

Wear this shirt: in the bamboo forests of the Qin Ling Mountains and the hilly Sichuan Province.

Don’t wear this shirt: because it’s nothing but a symbol for how China is going to conquer America. But some people might not have noticed that yet, so just go ahead and post all about it on the forums, just like everybody else who finds a secret message hidden in our shirts. And don’t worry, we’ll have a new one tomorrow! See if you can find them all! We’re like Magical Mystery Tour these days!

This shirt tells the world: “It’s very hard for me to reproduce in captivity.”

We call this color: Asphalt Is Dead. SEE! SEE! THERE’S ANOTHER ONE!! WHAT ARE WE HIDING, SHIRT.WOOT???

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