Aw, MAN. I knew I should have saved after beating that giant.

Okay, so, if I poison my goblet, there’s a good chance he’ll take it, because he doesn’t want to take the one I give him. But if he knows that I know that, he will take his own goblet. Plus the computer knows which goblet I pick, which means it’s probably going to cheat and pick the goblet I don’t pick, unless there’s some kind of way to make it not notice. So I can’t pick his goblet or my goblet until I figure out that side puzzle.

On top of that, I saw the name Roberta Williams in the credits, so I already know the answer’s going to be some stupid, unrepeatable piece of dream logic, like I had to remember to get milk from one specific cow in the very first scene and then have it on me when I rolled down the hill so it could turn into the only cheese that exists in the entire game which I could then carry with me during my decade on the pirate ship just to now use as an appetizer… wait, hang on, that sounds exactly like the sort of thing she’d do, doesn’t it. Let me look in my inventory… oh, wow, I guess I do have a cheese! Maybe if I use the poison on the cheese, and then drop the cheese out of my inventory and then throw a pebble so he looks for the sound… YES! IT WORKED! HE SAW THE CHEESE! HE’S PICKED IT UP! HE’S- oh, he ate it with no ill effects. Guess I missed something a few levels back. Man, and now I don’t have the cheese either. I’m going to have to start from the beginning and do all this again, and I don’t even know what “this” is supposed to be in the first place.

How could anyone have ever thought this kind of thing was good game design? I swear, it’s inconceivable!

Wear this shirt: when you’re on the line ordering a Sicilian pizza.

Don’t wear this shirt: to your dinner with Andre.

This shirt tells the world: “Never trust a big butt and a smile.”

We call this color: This shirt’s color is Slate, we mean it! Ahem, we said we mean it! C’mon, forums, that’s your cue.

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