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Political Illiteracy

by thatrobert

$19.00 + free shipping
White
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Mar 26 - Mar 28
  • Express - Estimated delivery Mar 25
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Don't Read This

3rd place in Derby #450: Freedom with 154 votes

IN CONGRESS, July 4th, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen United States of America.

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation, and holy crap, this is a long sentence. Is anyone still reading this? Hello? Echo, echo, echo? So it's just me, eh? Sweet. Then, you know what, enough of this declaration stuff; I've got some things I want to float out there, questions that have for too long gone unanswered. Like how come some nuts grow on trees and others don't? And why are pine nuts so expensive? They're not even a top 10 nut. Also, why aren't tuxedo cats called penguin cats, or why aren't penguins called tuxedo birds? Real quick insert in case people are scanning: We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness. Can I confess something? One time, as a child, I took a copy of Highlights magazine out of the pediatrician's waiting room, just walked right out with it. I didn't mean to, per se, but I also didn't NOT mean to, you know what I mean? And so I took it home and hid it under my bed, and then years later, when I was cleaning things out to head to college I found it and was filled with guilt. How'm I doing on time here? Is this looking long enough to be an official document for a burgeoning nation? Here are some words I know: car, finesse, transgression, tribulation, harp, friend, enemy, bleep blorp bloop blorp. I often stay more hydrated when I have a straw to drink out of. What does that say about me? Am I weak-willed person that I need a straw to take in water at a healthy rate? Or does it say something about the cup? Like, why aren't there adult sippy cups? I'd buy one. You can count on that. Hear me potential adult sippy-cup manufacturers? I'm saying you've got one customer already. Okay, this is looking pretty long now. Time for the outro in five, four, three, two, and for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

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Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
2m 28.996s
First Sucker:
Narfcake
Last Wooter to Woot:
thatrobert

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 92% second woot
  • 8% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 6% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 1% one month old
  • 10% one year old
  • 82% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 92% bought 1
  • 6% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

6%
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4%
6%
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Percentage of Sales Per Day

10%
5%
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69%
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Political Illiteracy by thatrobert
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.