Imagine how it felt to be a simple peasant, walking along, coming across a man on horseback. What terror there must have been! The angry, snorting, glaring… wait, that’s the guy who pumps our gas. Yeah, there’s a place that still does full service. It’s amazing, right by the office, they clean the windshield and everything. Oh, but horses.

Back before the SUV, the horse was the original status symbol. Only the very rich could afford horses. That’s why we have the saying “If Wishes Were Horses, Beggars Would Ride”. But we all know that would never happen, because then the value of horses would drop, and the horse cartels would step in and control supply. So it’s probably for the best that things are the way they are.

This shirt was designed by: Jimiyo, who was born of Jimiyodaddy and Jimiyomama. We’re doing some genealogy to discover if he can claim Jimiyogreasygranny as well.

Wear this shirt: when you enjoy a copy of Francis Ford Coppola’s 1983 movie The Outsiders. C. Thomas Howell is so underappreciated.

Don’t wear this shirt: to the glue factory. There could be a horrible mix up.

This shirt tells the world: “Stop calling me Wildfire every time I go jogging in the show!”

We call this color: The Heather Grey Mare She Ain’t What She Used To Be

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