I know what the government says, Wayne. And I know what I saw. And I’m telling you, thing was as real as a chupalope and a dragonsquatch put together. I’se just fishing in the old quarry when I seen it digging in the trashcan by the parking lot. Blue fur, little white eyes, one big pointy horn like a, I dunno, like half a Viking hat. You never smelled anything like that smell, like a gorilla and a horse and something else, rotted fruit or something. And that smile, those fangs – I about crapped. Ain’t no way was that a guy in a gorilla suit. You keep laughing, Wayne. You wudn’t out there. You don’t even know.

This shirt was designed by: Andrew Bargeron, B/K/A Gimetzco!, who’s done design work for Delia’s, Weezer, Tinymeat, and threadless. Don’t know what “Gimetzco!” means? That makes three of us: neither do we, neither does he.

Wear this shirt: if your fur is blue for a bold, fetching statement.

Don’t wear this shirt: with a kicky beret. Don’t wear anything with a kicky beret.

This shirt tells the world: “And you never saw me here, either. Got it?”

We call this color: The Abominable Orange.

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