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Portrait of the Walrus as a Young Man

by theinfinityloop

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Nov 25 - Nov 26
  • Express - Estimated delivery Nov 22
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Oh, Do Benny Day

2nd place in Derby #174 Crosshatch , with 657 votes!

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was a baby seacow coming up onto the ice and this seacow that was coming up onto the ice met a baby gentoo

His father told him that story; his father had vibrissae.

He ate baby gentoo. The seacow came up onto the ice where that penguin lived; he squashed him flat.

O, Rose, marry us
On that poor penguin’s face

He sang that song. That was his song.

When your belly touches ice first it is warm and then it is cold. His mothers were Polly, Ester. His blubber felt like gel.

His father had tusks and howled. He taught the song that brought Mother to the water. He sang too:

Baculala lala
Baculala ladum
Baculala lala
Baculala lala

Uncle Charles and Dante clapped, but father chased them away because he was a bull walrus. No man could come too close to Mother.

-What is your name?

Stephen had answered: Stephen Dedwalrus.

Wear this shirt: Bloomsday. You’ll have to explain it but when did that stop a real Joycean?

Don’t wear this shirt: while swimming near orcas. It’s one of the few walrus predators and since they also eat people, you’ve be like one of those soft-wrap tacos in this shirt.

This shirt tells the world: “Husstenhasstencaffincoffintussemt
ac is actually a pretty good walrus noise, when you get right down to it.”

We call this color: Brown is this color’s name/Woot is its location/Texas its current dwellingplace/Your house its expectation.

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 9.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 2% one month old
  • 22% one year old
  • 65% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 3% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

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Portrait of the Walrus as a Young Man by theinfinityloop
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.