Oh, great, she thought. Here comes another creep trying to hit on me. And at the library? Ugh.

She wasn’t impressed. Her thesis research on near-infrared diffusion was much better company than the greasy hormonal losers who paraded up to get her number. She stared hard at the book in front of her, but she could still sense him approaching. “Uh, excuse me, hi…”

She sighed and looked up. “Look, I’m really busy here, so – uh -”

Her icy reproach caught in her throat as his zip-up ITALIA jacket fell open. Underneath, his t-shirt displayed an array of prismatic rainbows stabbing downward from fluffy clouds. The moment hung there between them.

And she knew. She knew he wasn’t like the others. He was attuned to bigger things, to transcendent things. She wanted him.

Wear this shirt: to the university library, obviously.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re hanging out with any of the secondary colors. They’re still a little miffed that they weren’t included.

This shirt tells the world: “This is going to be the weirdest Pride Parade ever!”

We call this color: Dark Side of the Black.

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