2nd place in Derby #36: (Text As Art), with 710 votes!

It was practically a day ago,
In a kingdom by the sea
That a shirt was sold that you may know
A Raven on Asphalt tee;—
And this shirt that was made with no other thought
Was voted in by thee.

Now that was a shirt, and this is a shirt,
In a kingdom by the sea,
And you voted on this in dissonant bliss
This Raven on Asphalt tee—
And now here they both are two days in a row.
Voted into this order by thee.

Now the moon never beams without bringing me dreams
Of a Raven on Asphalt tee;
We used up all our jokes about Poe and his folks
On the previous Raven-based tee;
And so, all the night-tide, we look down and cry
At how easy,—how easy—it would have been to write
A Raven on Asphalt tee—
If only one had been chosen by thee.

This shirt was designed by: personnemaime, of whom we know nothing about, so we’ll just make stuff up. Personnemaime is a beautiful French woman who fought in the Resistance during World War II and then went on to make a series of films that were well received by the art community, but financial disasters overall. She then retired to Greece, where she designs animals made from well known words, including the “Don’t Pollute” Owl, the “Grrrrreat!” Tiger, and the world-famous “Screw” Ewe. Good job, personnemaime!

Wear this shirt: rolled up tight and stuffed in your ears to stop the hideous beating of that damnable heart

Don’t wear this shirt: to a meeting of The Obstinate Illiterates International. The OII really are passionate about a word-free world, and if anyone happens to tell them what those shapes represent, they’ll be awfully upset.

This shirt tells the world: “Nevermore.” What? That’s not lazy writing, I mean, look at it, that’s what it’s saying there. Hey, pal, don’t push me, I make one phone call and you’ve got a bus full of illterate-by-choice-ers on you like fleas on Sara Jessica Parker! Is that what you want? Is it?

We call this color: Matthew Broderick Is Gonna Make Us Eat Asphalt For That Joke About His Wife

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