1st place in Derby #163: Rainy Day, with 910 votes!

You know, back in ‘68, there was a professor who swore he figured out this glue that could stick to stormy air. Everybody was all like “whatever, prof, go back to crazyville” but then he just up and vanished one day, and nobody ever saw him again. Said he moved to Virginia. You know, where the C.I.A. is based?

And you think about it, somebody that could paint over stormy weather, well, that’d come in real handy from time to time, if you follow me. “Oh, there’s a big storm tonight, nobody’s taking off a plane full of smuggled weapons for El Salvadoran guerrilas, guess we can just go home!” Only, suddenly, it’s a sunny day at midnight. Night vison goggles don’t work either, because it’s sunny. And then, suddenly, ten guys run out and rip it all down, and the evidence is washed away.

I’m not saying that’s happened yet. I’m just saying that if you had a glue that could stick to stormy air, you could really be an asset to the right people. Hey, did I ever show you this perpetual motion machine? It’s true, you just take sixteen magnets and line them up and… wait, where are you going?

Wear this shirt: while wallpapering. Remember to soak each sheet fully before putting it up.

Don’t wear this shirt: while building a log cabin. It just won’t protect your arms from scrapes and cuts.

This shirt tells the world: “Yeah, after they fired me from Gorton’s, I did some decorating work. Paid the bills, you know how it goes.”

We call this color: Baby Blue Skies

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