They really should have stopped with the second movie.

That first film? That was something special, you know? It really helped bring home all those forgotten goats we made into killing machines, only to turn our backs on them. Also, the barn explosions were really cool.

And that second flick? The one where he returns to the farmland that made him what he is today, only to find and save those hostages from Old Red McDonald? Tell me you weren’t cheering by the end of that movie. You can’t.

All the films after that, though, were just gratuitous. I mean, attempting to rescue his former commander Goatman from a foreign farm his backstory had nothing to do with? Come on. They might as well have thrown in some Ewoks and made Goatman his sister.

Wear this shirt: while reading Animal Farm.

Don’t wear this shirt: in Hope, Colorado.

This shirt tells the world: “You can leave The Farm, but that doesn’t mean The Farm leaves you.”

We call this color: Blaaaaack in ‘Nam

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