3rd place in Derby #242: One Word, with 706 votes!

Dearest Microsoft Word,

For as many years as we can remember, your default font has been set to something drab like Times New Roman or Calibri. Well, we, the members of the Association of Artisan Typographers, think it’s time for a change. We believe that you should consider a new standard font, something bold, something exciting, something like “Pictorial Smorgasbord.”

In Pictorial Smorgasbord, it is not uncommon for a single word to be made up of hundreds of tiny pictures. This means each page of your document could hold thousands – nay, millions – of tiny illustrations! Could you imagine? Every report, every essay, every email correspondence, brought to life through the miracle of art!

Of course, there are some things to overcome – like the fact that each letter you type takes up a full megabyte of hard drive space, making for some slightly larger document sizes – but all in all, we believe it would be a change for the better. Thank you for your consideration! We look forward to your decision.

Sincerely,
Tyler Banks
President, Association of Artisan Typographers

Wear this shirt: to your eye exam. Isn’t it time that guy got a taste of his own medicine?

Don’t wear this shirt: around people who can’t see the bigger picture. They’ll be like, “What’s with all that random stuff in that totally random formation?”

This shirt tells the world: “A word is worth a thousand pictures.”

We call this color: what, you need us to spell it out for you? Fine. N-A-V-Y. Got it?

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