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Red Potion

by Radscoolian

$19.00 + free shipping
Cranberry
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Oct 23 - Oct 25
  • Express - Estimated delivery Oct 22
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Drink Me

2nd place in Derby #229: Roleplaying in Everyday Life, with 737 votes!

Gather ‘round, good people, gather ‘round and be witness to the most amazing, the most stupendous, the most splendiferous discovery in modern health the world has ever seen! Ladies and gentlemen, both young and old, may I introduce to you Doctor Spirit McGee’s Red Potion of Healing and Other Curative Concerns!

Never before in the history of mankind has the power to heal one’s self been so convenient and affordable! No longer will you have to fret over doctor’s bills or health insurance again! This handy dandy concoction made from an ancient recipe only recently rediscovered by archeologists will bring fire back to cold bones of the elderly and the infirm, power back into weakened muscles of the hard-working common man, and fill the young adventurer’s heart with life, and all for the bargain price of just 68 gold pieces or the equivalent thereof.

Now I hear a few of you out there scoffing at Doctor McGee’s boasts and I respect that. You want proof of the powers within this tonic, and I aim to give it to you. Allow me to demonstrate! You, young man! Step right up here next to me. Hurry along now, don’t be shy. Now then, have you and I ever met?

“Um, no, sir. Not that I recall.”

Of course we haven’t! Let the record show that until this very moment this young man and I have never laid eyes on each other before. Now then, sir, perhaps you can tell me and all these wonderful folks watching what it is I have here in my right hand?

“It’s a, uh, dagger, sir?”

CORRECT! And quite the sharp dagger to boot! Now then, friends, watch closely as I take his blade and shove it hilt-deep into this man’s torso!

“What? WAIT! ARRRRRRRRRRGH!”

Looks pretty nasty, doesn’t it, friends? In fact, a stomach wound is known as one of the most painful things ever experienced by man. Left untreated, this man will writhe in agony for hours, screaming for mercy here in the dirt until the sweet embrace of death wraps its arms around him! But curing a wound like this is much too easy a thing for my fabulous Red Potion, I tell you true! Luckily, I have here behind me my trusty sledgehammer! When swung at full force, this little gem will shatter bone and turn the average extremity into a bloody pulp, as I’m about to show you! Ladies, you and the children may wish to avert your eyes at this moment.

“GAHHHH! OH MERCIFUL GOD IN HEAVEN, THE PAIN!”

Now, now, sir, don’t pass out from shock just yet. We still haven’t gotten to the good part! As you can all plainly see this man lays broken and bleeding without the means of killing his own self just to end his torment. But let’s see what a little of my Red Potion does for this fallen fellow! There you are, sir! Drink this down quick and tell me how you feel!

“I… I feel fine! There’s no more pain. The wound is closed! My legs aren’t twisted and mangled anymore! I’m OKAY!”

You hear that, ladies and gentlemen! This man was on his deathbed just moments ago and now he’s back on his feet and ready to take life by the horns once again, all due to Doctor Spirit McGee’s Red Potion of Healing and Other Curative Concerns! Whoa, hey, let’s all settle down! Line up, I say, line up! You’ll all get a chance to buy a bottle. We do accept GP, SP, CP, and Rupees if need be!

(“Did I do okay, Doc?”)

(“You did, fine, Reggie, now get the horses ready. I want out of here the moment these rubes have bought the last bottle.)

Wear this shirt: when you feel your life force draining away.

Don’t wear this shirt: without an empty bottle in your inventory.

This shirt tells the world: “It’s not Grandma’s Soup, but it’ll do in a pinch.”

We call this color: Cranberry Concoction

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 52.000s
First Sucker:
thefencechild
Last Wooter to Woot:
bjhaugen

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 22% one year old
  • 65% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

11%
5%
2%
3%
2%
2%
2%
4%
5%
5%
6%
5%
4%
4%
5%
4%
4%
4%
4%
3%
4%
5%
4%
5%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

6%
4%
4%
3%
4%
74%
5%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

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Red Potion by Radscoolian
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.