1st place in Derby #562: Crests, Insignias and Seals!

And with this ring, we seal our love. Wait, where'd she go? She just disappeared when I put the ring on her!

"Whoa, talk about a runaway bride, huh?"

[Laughter and applause]

Rodney Dangerfield? What are you doing at my wedding?

"Well, right now I'm standin'! Jeez, no respect!"

[Laughter and applause]

Yeah, but... okay, that was funny and all, but I'm actually kind of troubled. See, I put a ring on my bride-to-be--

"And she became a bride-be-gone!"

[laughter and applause]

I wasn't going to say anything, but to be honest, you seem like kind of a non sequitur in this whole thing. Like, the initial set-up isn't a reference to anything you're involved in.

"I thought you were the groom, not the celebrity cameo police."

[laughter and applause]

That was barely a joke.

"Youch, I mean, jeez! I get no respect! I'm out of here!"

[Crowd awws sadly; bride reappears]

Where were you, Cheryl?!

"I'm sorry. I would've come out sooner, it's just that I heard Rodney Dangerfield."

Not a fan?

"No Chris. Rodney and I... we were lovers once."

[Crowd gasps]

Ugh. I am so done with all this. Reverend Gollum, please, just skip to the end.

"Yes, Yes. Me skip to end. I now pronounce you each other's preciouses!"

[Wild cheering and applause]

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