“Oh, my. Your majesty. How can you stand to be so close to me?”
“How can I stand to be too far away? For without your beauty I might dissolve like a poorly timed gambit.”
“Your majesty flatters me. But what if I decided to move along the diagonal instead of the vertical or horizontal? Would that not end your reign? Am I not, therefore, a danger to your most august person?”
“Danger is nothing compared to a woman like you. The moment I saw you, I knew I had to have you. I told my bishops, ‘That one. Bring her to me.’ And that is why you crossed the board unharmed. You were always under my protection.”
“Such talk. Even for a king, you presume too much. Why, just one move ago I was a young pawn, innocent in the ways of the grander pieces.”
“But you moved like a swan across water, as smooth as glass. Even as a pawn I could see your destiny. And now, you are a pawn no longer. Now you are a queen.”
“A queen who has a king of her own. A king that has instructed her to bring about your demise at any possible cost. Should you not be terrified? Should you not be afraid?”
“Afraid? No, my queen. For I have already been conquered. And I am but a shell, a sad man trapped behind a queen-side castle of his own making. For what good is a king without his heart? And you, my queen, have taken mine.”
“I must admit… I now find myself quite reluctant to press the final attack. Being here with you… I begin to wonder… what exactly is this war is all about?”
“It is but a game, my darling. And now, you and I, we can play a game so much better. Let there not be war between us. Let there only be… our love. Come to me, my darling. Your husband moves just a square at a time, he will never find us here.”
“Oh… I cannot resist you any longer. I am yours. Take me. Do what you will with my square. Treat me like a bishop or a rook, force me into an unnatural L-shaped movement, call me a dirty, savage… Oh! My king!”
“WHAT? WHAT IN THE NAME OF BORIS SPASSKY IS GOING ON HERE??”
Wear this shirt: when you’re searching for Bobby Fischer. He’ll probably be easier to find now that he doesn’t really get around very much.
Don’t wear this shirt: if it really bothers you that the kings are so close to each other.
This shirt tells the world: “Mate in two.”
We call this color: Deep Baby Blue
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