2nd Place in Derby# 292: Time Travel, with 234 votes!

The message of the sands of time thing is that no one really matters all that much. It's like, doing awesome stuff is the same as walking in some sand in the grand scheme of things. Literally, if you're a big celebrity sand walker or something.

But it makes sense on other levels too! Like, you know how when you go to the beach and you get all sandy and you have to shower off? That's like how everyone forgives you right before you die, because hey, you're the one dying, not the other people. That's why, when I'm on my death bed, I'm going to be like, "For years, you made me feel bad for you, but now you feel bad for me. Oh how the tables have turned!" Then I'm going to take my final breath and burst into a cloud of smoke. I'm not sure how. I'm hoping science will find a way in the next few years.

The whole thing breaks down, though, if you think about someone walking through the sands of time with shoes on. It's like, the time-sand gets into your shoes? What the heck does that mean? Are you taking time with you? It's probably so messed up because back when the guy first wrote about the sands of time, shoes weren't invented. And besides, walking in sand with shoes on is lame. So it's like, the metaphor doesn't work for you? That's not our problem! YOU'RE the one who's doing it wrong.

And that's all there is to know about sand and time and how they work together! Goodnight and good luck!

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