For thousands of years, artistic virtues like balance, restraint, and clarity have defined the aesthetic identity of the Orient. Then hairy, belching, loudmouthed gaijin like us came along to repackage those virtues into something that can shift units. Exhibit number ichi is this modernistic stylization of the classic koi motif. We think it’s cleverly conceived and tastefully executed. But if you buy one, don’t be surprised to receive a visit from the angry ghost of Hiroshige.

This shirt was designed by: Tom Anderson. Who? He’s a photographer. He’s an animator. He’s a musician. He’s a designer (see above). He’s a juggler. He’s curly-haired. He’s fresh out of college and shamelessly self-promoting. All those who want to hire him, say, “Aye!” And then contact him at andetom@gmail.com, because he can’t hear you very well from all the way over there.

Wear this shirt to: keep your hunting buddies from accidentally shooting you.

Don’t wear this shirt to: compete in a banana-split-eating contest. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get chocolate-syrup stains out of an orange shirt?

This shirt tells the world: “I prefer my fish without eyes, mouths, gills, or articulated fins.”

We call this color: Goldfish Are Actually Orange.

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