1st place in Derby #148: Déjà vu, with 1415 votes!

“And then you want to get where? Where? That’s right, exactly two steps away from the mushroom. That way, you’ll be in just the right place when that plumber comes down. Hey, hey, what’s that? Is that gum? C’mon, bring it up here. Right now, mister! Do you want me to trigger my wings and come back there and take it? I want that gum and I want it now!”

“Don’t try to convince me you’re going slow because you’re a turtle. I once saw a turtle do two hundred miles an hour on a race track while a missile was homing in on him. Do you think the King is going to let you say that you’re no good just because you’re a turtle? Turtles have been the backbone of our defense industry since the mid-eighties and that’s not stopping any time soon, no matter how hard you try to act otherwise. C’mon, hustle, hustle, hustle!”

“Now spit it out in the trash can. Good. Now you can go back and sit down. Okay, so, who knows the name of the first turtle to give his life in the Luigi Mario Player Two Massacre. Anybody? Any one at all?”

Wear this shirt: for any reason at all. It doesn’t matter if you’re super or 64, this is the shirt for you.

Don’t wear this shirt: near Salman Rushdie. Yeah, one of you gets it. High five, one of you. The rest can suck it.

This shirt tells the world: “Hey, if you’re not smart enough, Dr. Robotnik is always transforming new minons.”

We call this color: They Filled All The Pipes With Asphalt But Somehow That Jerk Kept Getting In

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