4th place in Derby #105: Two, with 909 votes!

When the Devil came back from Georgia, he hadn’t found a soul to steal / All the hipster blogs made fun of him and he lost his record deal

He’d been packing ‘em in to arenas and clubs ever since he was signed
Now he was lucky to play county fairs opening for Third Eye Blind
All the powers of the Netherworld couldn’t give the Devil back his cool
Johnny destroyed the Devil’s street cred like 50 Cent did to Ja Rule
He said the label owed back royalties, better give the Devil his due
So he hired a Devil’s advocate, but that lawyer ripped him off, too
His infernal throne of flaming goat-head skulls got repossessed
Now all the torture pits of Hades belong to the IRS

Satan you ain’t a star no more so stop looking like a slob
Time to clean yourself up now and get a real job
If you’re lucky maybe after a couple of years
You’ll be on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here

The Devil opened up the want ads, saw “No experience required”
So he went down to KFC and that Devil got himself hired
Now he works the register, sells fried chicken by the pail
The pay ain’t much but it’s temporary, he’s on the comeback trail
He’s working on a new album, recording it on his laptop
The kids today don’t want no fiddle, so he’s thinking he’ll go hip-hop

Once the master of all things infernal
Now the Devil’s working for the old Colonel
Chicken in a bucket with mashed potatoes
“You wanna hear my demo?” No, man, no

Wear this shirt: when you’re in the bread pan, pickin’ out dough.

Don’t wear this shirt: and jump up on a hickory stump. Injury or musical humiliation may result.

This shirt tells the world: “I thought he was bluffing when he said he was the best that’s ever been.”

We call this color: This Shiny Fiddle Made Of Lemon.

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