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Secret of the Sharpener

by Ben Douglass

$19.00 + free shipping
Baby Blue
Tee
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Aug 23 - Aug 24
  • Express - Estimated delivery Aug 21
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

The Dixon Ticonderoga Chainsaw Massacre

2nd place in Derby #140: Things That Start With the Letter S, with 800 votes!

I loved being a lumberjack, but I hate the outdoors. So this pencil-sharpener gig is like the best of both worlds for me. I still get to do a lot of chainsawing. I still get to wear the hat and the shirt and the suspenders. But I get to do it all in a cramped room, knee-deep in sawdust, under a sickly yellow lightbulb. Paradise. You got anything you need sharpened? Please?

Wear this shirt: when you hang around in bars. Just be sure to order a women’s size.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re afraid of lead poisoning. Because if you’re an adult and you still think pencil “lead” can give you lead poisoning, we’d rather not have you wearing our shirts.

This shirt tells the world: “I’d rather be one of the tiny actors inside the TV, but it’s a living.”

We call this color: Something About Baby Blue And Pencils, Or Maybe Chainsaws, Whatever, It’s Quitting Time And I’ve Been Writing These Cutesy Puns All Day

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Features

Our graphic tees are made for every day that you need to get shirt done! Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our shirts are printed in the USA and every time you buy a shirt, one of our talented artists gets paid!

T-Shirts

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Women’s V-Necks

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Tank Tops

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Long Sleeves

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Pullover Hoodies

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Crewneck Sweatshirts

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Zip Hoodies

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Raglans

For sizing info, care and fabric details click here.

Specs

Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 17.000s
First Sucker:
Fritooo
Last Wooter to Woot:
Wooter852682699

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 96% second woot
  • 4% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 8% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 4% one month old
  • 32% one year old
  • 54% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 96% bought 1
  • 4% bought 2
  • 0% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

11%
5%
3%
2%
1%
1%
2%
4%
5%
5%
5%
5%
5%
5%
4%
4%
3%
4%
4%
4%
5%
5%
4%
4%
12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

3%
2%
2%
2%
2%
2%
88%
Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

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Secret of the Sharpener by Ben Douglass
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.