3rd place in Derby #534: Lightning in a bottle

People think I died on that ice raft. Hey, fair enough - I thought I was a goner, too, but I made it back to shore and that’s when my life STARTED. I got a job as a tour guide in London for a while - oops dropped a little flesh there, just throw that away. Anyway, that’s when Deborah got me a gig in her bridal shop. I know - total fish out of water, right? I didn’t mention my checkered past with wife-types. Oops, dropped a screw. Just leave it - the other one should hold my nose in place for a while. ANYWAY, I quit that job once my buddy Steve hired me to do some paralegal work. I didn’t really like it very much, and since I was performing at that dueling piano bar downtown - oh, sorry about that hair clump, here’s a lint roller if you want - I wasn’t getting a whole lot of sleep. Something had to give, you know? So I figured I’d pursue music full time. That’s when the guys and I formed our band. BOY were those some crazy years! But that can’t last forever, right? Besides, I had realized my heart was in meteorology. Well. I say my “heart,” but - oh, just drop you off here? This isn’t the address you - ok, well, have a good night and thanks for choosing Uber!

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