2nd place in Derby #446: Hot! with 77 votes!

Cool and casual expressions to use on hot days in order to be social among humans:

"It's so hot you could fry an egg on the sidewalk!"

"It's so hot you don't need to cook hot dogs before you eat them, given that the atmosphere is the temperature of most commercial microwaves!"

"It's so hot that you would only know an oven is on by examining its dials, since there is little palpable difference between its temperature inside and that of the world outside of it!"

"It's so hot that it's a bad day to order a hamburger because it will only come out well done regardless of how you order it, such is the heat of the day that it can penetrate even the innermost sanctum of the burger!"

"It's so hot that were there to be a blind taste test between a glass of nothing and a glass of lava (assuming a glass capable of holding lava could be obtained) there would be little to signify a difference beyond consistency!"

"It's so hot that the soles of shoes feel perpetually to have picked up gum, yet upon their examination no gum is revealed, only the gum-like substance of the partially melted soles themselves!"

"It's so hot that the difference between a swimming pool and not a swimming pool, while significant in many ways (most notedly that one is a pool of water and the other isn't), seems almost (but not fully) null, as my body is so enveloped in sweat that it feels as though my surrounding must be built of liquid rather than air!"

Back to top