No Sleep ‘Til Zot Hanukkah

We were recently reading in Alfred Kolatch’s JEWISH BOOK OF WHY about the Hanukkah custom, reportedly dating to medieval times, of playing card games late into the night. Now, we like a hand of Texas hold ‘em as much as the next person, but we’d never heard of this tradition. Obviously, we’ve been hanging at all the wrong JCCs.

Plenty of rabbis have frowned on these games, Kolatch claims, but no less a big-shot than Rabbi Levi Yitzhak the Berdichever spoke up in favor of them, arguing—get this—that marathon gambling sessions would help condition yeshiva students to stay up late, a skill they could then use during long nights studying the Torah.

OK, far be it from us to second-guess Big Berdi. But honestly, that sounds like some serious rationalization to us. Look, it’s cool with us if you want to play Canasta ‘til dawn. It’s better than cool. It’s great. Call us up, deal us in, we’ll bring the soft drinks. But don’t give us this Torah-study training cover story. Because you know what would train you even better to stay up late studying Torah? Staying up late studying Torah.

This shirt is for anyone who’s celebrating straight through the holiday like a sufganiyot-fueled party machine, and doesn’t need a pious excuse. Come on, turn up the music! Fry up the potato pancakes! Wiggle like a glow worm, dance like a spinning dreidel! Light this year’s Hanukkah candles at both ends, kids—because we’re halfway through the awesomest eight-night-all-night party ever.

Besides, there’ll be plenty of time to catch up on sleep in a few days when everything closes for Christmas.

Wear this shirt: to protect your torso from spattering latke grease.

Don’t wear this shirt: with latke-grease spatters all over it, though.

This shirt tells the world: “Salsa, swing, disco, horah, whatever, I feel like DANCING.”

We call this color: IsRoyali Blue

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