FLYIN’ SOUTH FTW! RIGHT, BROS?! WOOOOO!

“Hey, Glen. All packed up?”

“Yeah, think so. Charlene was up all night worrying about the nest, as usual. That usually means we’re good to go.”

“Heh. Yeah, Amanda’s the same way. It’s always ‘I just want to make sure the wind won’t knock it down!’ and I’m all ‘I’m gonna have to spend a week fixing it back up anyway, let’s just leave it.’”

WOOOOOOO! WINTER MIGRATION TIME, BROS! LET’S DO THIS!

“Who, uh, who’s this?”

“Oh, Glen, this is Steve. He’s Amanda’s nephew and he’s making the migration with us this year. Don’t, uh, don’t say anything but his dad ran off with some hot piece of tail feather right after he was born and his mom got eaten by a cat this summer, so we’re kind of taking him under the wing, y’know?”

“How’s that workin’ out for you?”

“Uh, about as well as you can see.”

UNCLE NATHAN, UNCLE NATHAN!

“Yeah, buddy?”

WE’RE GOING TO MEXICO!

“Uh, yeah. That’s the plan. It’s gonna be a long trip, though, so you might wanna conserve your ener-”

I’M GONNA GET SOOOOOO DRUNK!

“Kids, right?”

“Hey, don’t worry about it. We’ve all been there. I remember my first migration. It wasn’t all that different.”

WHAT’D YOU SAY?!

“Huh? Oh, I was just telling your Uncle Nathan here I remember being really excited about my first migration, too-”

HOW ABOUT I PUNCH YOU IN YOUR FIRST FACE?!

“What?”

“Hey, woah! Steve, that’s out of line! Glen’s a friend of mine. We molted together, man. He didn’t say anything wrong. Apologize to the man.”

NO WAY, UNCLE NATHAN. THIS BIRD’S DISRESPECTING ME! YOU THINK YOU’RE BETTER THAN ME? HUH? I’LL TAKE YOUR NEST RIGHT OUT FROM UNDER YOU, OLD MAN!

“Yeah, yeah, save it for the spring, buddy.”

WHEREVER YOU ARE, I’M GONNA BE ONE BRANCH HIGHER. SINGIN’. MY. ASS. OFF. AND IF YOU’RE LUCKY I’LL LET YOU PUKE SOME WORMS UP FOR MY KIDS!

“I’m sorry about this, Glen. He’s dealing with a lot of emotions, y’know, on account of his mom.”

“No, hey, I get it. I’m just gonna check in on Charlene and leave you guys to it. Safe travels, pal. We’ll catch up when we stop for the night, okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good. Tell Charlene I said hi.”

I CAN’T WAIT TO EAT SOME MEXICAN GRUBS! WOOOOOOOOO!

“This is gonna be a long flight.”

Wear this shirt: In a misguided attempt to improve the look of your own plumage.

Don’t wear this shirt: In front of your cats. It’s just the excuse they’ve been looking for.

This shirt tells the world: “You know those silly Hawaiian shirts white dudes wear to barbecues? There’s a bird equivalent.”

We call this color: All the leaves are brown (all the leaves are brown) / and the birds are jerks (and the birds are jerks)

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