Aquarists take note: It is critically important to consider the full size and special care requirements of adult specimens before stocking your tank with juveniles. Yes, they’re adorable. And sure, they’re nice and small now. But what are you going to do a few months from now, when they’ve reached maturity, and you’re chasing one around the house with a harpoon gun because it caught a glimpse of your girlfriend in her swimsuit, fell in love, grabbed her and ran?

“Adorable” will not be the word for that freakshow, that’s for blamed sure.

This shirt was designed by: Theron Wallis, who claims to be a native of the very Floridian swamplands where the Black Lagoon movies were filmed. Suspicious, eh? Whether Wallis has gills, we can’t say; we’ve never met face-to-terrifying-fishface. Another recent Twallis creation: the Facebook application called Win A Prize. Add it!

Wear this shirt: swimming. It’ll protect your skin from the sun’s dangerous rays, and the rest of us from seeing you with no shirt on.

Don’t wear this shirt: in Rotenone-rich environments.

This shirt tells the world: “Even I have heard the legend of a man-fish.”

We call this color: The Olive Lagoon

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