1st place in Derby #110: Flora, with 889 votes!

”...However gaily colored it may be, the responsible horticulturist should think twice about keeping Serrasalmoid megamuscipula, especially in a home with pets or children. The rapid thigmonastic action of the lobes makes this species highly dangerous to all but the most experienced planters. (It goes without saying that even they should not keep the fire-breathing variety.)

“These unusual carnivorous plants do best when rooted in pipes with full sun exposure. They emerge intermittently to feed with a rapid ‘striking’ action, but this behavior can be suppressed simply by standing on top of the pipe and blocking the plant’s exit. This maneuver is, of course, an extremely hazardous one, and should not be attempted except by botanists with either specialized training or an extra guy.”

Wear this shirt: to your job down at Mushnik’s.

Don’t wear this shirt: inside a man-eating plant.

This shirt tells the world: “Hey, what’s cooking? I AM!”

We call this color: Your Assault On The Castle Is Grass.

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