It was awful nice to see Jon Cryer on Conan the other night, wasn’t it? I was really worried about him.

I mean, sure, there’s a lot of stuff going on in the world right now, you know? What with all those protests in Wisconsin and the bloody sacrifices of the Libyan people as they fight for their freedom. Oh, and Japan. I remember vaguely hearing that something has happened in Japan.

But that Jon Cryer is able to keep his sense of humor through this national television tragedy is good to see. Really uplifting and all that. I really hope he lands on his feet. He was Duckie in that one movie. Remember that movie? With the red-headed girl and Harry Dean Stanton. It was such a great film, wasn’t it? It’s nice that we have popular culture to help ease our weary minds in these times of trouble, don’t you think? I sure do.

Wear this shirt: in celebration of lame Internet memes.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you have grown tired of the public’s obsession with the mad antics of celebrities due to the daily dissatisfaction they feel with their own minuscule lives.

This shirt tells the world: “I believe whatever the crazy man on the tee-vee tells me to believe. It makes me feel special and important in ways that I have never been able to experience myself.”

We call this color: I’d Like A Cranberry Sno-Cone, I’m Not Much For Tiger Blood

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