Honestly, Who Sweats Underwater
2nd place in Derby #84: The Sea, with 800 votes!
The Cold War, essentially, was fought through a series of proxies in order to avoid a direct conflict between two powers with major weapons. It arguably began with the development of Code Name: Bait, first used by the fisherman in 1945. It wasn’t until the early 1950s that the big mean fish cracked the secrets of Code Name: Bait. The first above ground testing proved to the world that not only was the big mean fish the equal of the fisherman, he was in some ways even better. This lead to what we today know as the Arms Race, in which the two sides raced to develop a better and more efficient bait.
It was the big mean fish that first made the move to gain allies. The naturally trusting goldfish, already troubled that the fisherman had rejected them when picking his baseball team, found a ready ally in the big mean fish. The goldfish allowed for a distribution of Code Name: Bait on a scale that had never before been considered. However, it quickly became obvious that goldfish find it very hard to balance on each other, and if one were to fall, all would fall. This was known as “the domino theory”, and formed the backbone of the fisherman’s defense strategy at the time.
In the meantime, the fisherman made himself comfortable and let his feet rest in the water. The big mean fish took this as an act of aggression, and authorized the movement of one of his proxy goldfish onto land. This legendary crisis brought the two sides right to the brink of war. For one small moment, the fate of the entire planet hung by a single thread.
Wear this shirt: on Friday during Lent, if that’s what you believe in.
Don’t wear this shirt: to the annual “Don’t Wear Any Clothing With A Fish Drawn On It Ball” that your shirt company holds each… wait, hang on, are we the only shirt company with balls?
This shirt tells the world: “Don’t wait for the translation! Yes or no?”
We call this color: Anyone Who Thinks That Quote Is From Star Trek Is Gonna Get Beaten Until Their Face Is Black And Baby Blue
Back to top
