2nd place in Derby #187: Retro Audio: Records, Tapes, and CDs, with 808 votes!
It’s Saturday. It’s late. The phone rings and the moment you pick it up you hear, “You’re going out tonight, right?”
And maybe you’re tired because you had a bunch of errands to run or you’re in a mood because your boss forced you to go into work for half a day to get “caught up”. It does not matter to the Caller. You will say you are “not in the mood” and the Caller will tell you, “Right. Whatever. I’ll be there in half an hour. Be ready.” They will hang up and you will apologize to your couch and comfy pajama pants for the evening’s change of plans.
It will suck. It will be loud. It will be crowded. The DJ will be almost as weak as the drinks. The Caller will ditch you to hook up with someone they will refer to as their “third biggest mistake” for the rest of their life and you will be left to wonder if you brought enough money for cab fare so you can get home. And just as some idiot in an Ed Hardy shirt and matching pants (PANTS!) knocks your drink out of your hand and onto your shoes, you’ll hear it.
It’s that song. That one perfect song. That song you listened to 38 times in a row the day you discovered it and 41 times the very next day. That song that makes you squeeze your headphones tightly to your ears and close your eyes. That song that, if you only got to pick one, goes to the desert island, the bomb shelter, or the alien planet.
That song is playing right now.
So you make your way to the dancefloor and you forget about Ed Hardy. You forget about your errands and your boss and the Caller and the DJ and the rest of the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad day and, for a little while, you throw yourself around and enjoy your absolute favorite song ever in a way that no one else in the entire world will ever truly appreciate. And then you’ll go home.
You will be four dollars short on cab fare. It will not ruin your evening.
Wear this shirt: to an intergalactic DJ battle.
Don’t wear this shirt: if you don’t like space jams.
This shirt tells the world: “Space: The Funkiest Frontier.”
We call this color: Block Rockin’ Black
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