Back in the day, no one ever got Carpal Tunnel.

And why was that? Because there were plenty of reasons it might have popped up. Learning cursive, mandatory push-ups, that freaky semester of square dancing… did anyone else have that? Those wrists got a great workout! Why weren’t the children of yesteryear crawing to their vintage gaming systems in agony?

It was the simple pencil sharpener that laid the strong foundation for the mighty wrists that America used to be known for. An amazingly complex invention that would have confused even the scholars of Verona, the pencil sharpener was at once an agent of entropy and a guardian of creation. What does the computer have that can compare with that? Notepad?

Don’t make us laugh.

Wear this shirt: when you’re working on the three r’s: Readin’, Ritin’ and Ratchety crankin’.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you think that’s a freaky kind of missile launcher. Pick up a history book, Count Zero. It wasn’t that long ago.

This shirt tells the world: “Every girl’s crazy ‘bout… oh, I was going to say chocolate.”

We call this color: Unleaded Asphalt

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