This one doesn’t really need to be made.

Hey, wow. You came out and took a stand for your love of deep-fried pastry. Amazing. You’re a bastion of liberty and hope for us all, I guess. Focus groups be-damned, you were going to speak your mind and wear your cholesterol-laden heart on your already-stained-with-chocolate sleeve.

Except we’ve been able to tell you love doughnuts for years. You’re kind of like that outrageously-gay kid who waits years and years to finally come out of the closet only to be mildly disappointed that everyone else already knew it. The evidence has been pretty overwhelming.

Well, if you’re asking for honest input, there’s the fact that you bring a box of doughnuts to work every Friday and yet you don’t share any. Also, the fact that you had to order that shirt in XXL.

Hey! Where are you going? We have more honest input for you!

Wear this shirt: If you own a doughnut shop. Or a donut shop, if you’re easily-influenced by colloquialism.

Don’t wear this shirt: To the gym. Your trainer’s going to be pretty mad, and those people are sadists.

This shirt tells the world: “You can thank me for that outrageous health insurance premium.”

We call this color: White glaze

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