1st place in Derby #133: The Chinese Zodiac, with 1108 votes!

We’ve been getting some angry letters about the animals we originally chose for the Chinese Zodiac. Seems people are upset with their personalities being determined by a few of these guys. No, people are okay with the Horse. Snake gets a little flak, but most guys tend to dig it so I think we’ll stay pat. Horse is nice and powerful-sounding, people like Monkeys, even Rat somehow has been well-received.

No, the problem is with the Slug. For some reason people don’t like being associated with a gelatinous, almost-brainless blob of goo easily ruined by a pinch of salt. Seems they want something that conjures a more positive mental image: something with intellect or smarts or any other property besides “slimy.”

Dragon? Can we even use Dragon? Well, I don’t know; all the others are actual animals. I mean you can go somewhere and actually see one. Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely got the power vibe. And I’ve heard varying reports that they’re pretty smart. All in favor?

Alright then, it’s settled: Slug’s out, Dragon’s in. Any other business?

No, Clauson, for the last time, we’re going to call them ROOSTERS from now on.

Wear this shirt: for the entire Year of the Dragon. You’ve gotta represent.

Don’t wear this shirt: until January 23, 2012. Unfortunately, that’s the next Year of the Dragon.

This shirt tells the world: “I am honest, sensitive, and brave, according to my placemat.”

We call this color: White fire with fire

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