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Tastes Like Excel

by Jack Malster

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 15 - Dec 16
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 13
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Pie A Yellow Ribbon Round The Old Oak Tree

“Jenkins, let me ask you a question. This is your first time in the executive lunchroom, is it not?”

“Yes, sir, it is. The pork shoulder was just heavenly.”

“Splendid, splendid. Glad you liked it. Well, it seems the third quarter of the meal is coming up, what do our projections say about dessert?”

“Well, sir, it seems that the boys downstairs are telling us that cherry is trending low, still above lime, but no where near as high as sweet potato.”

“Sweet potato, eh?”

“Yes, sir. Forecasts are that in the fourth quarter of the meal, sweet potato will be seeing a drastic jump. We’re still anticipating the traditional rise in coffee, just as always, but we think that as far as desert goes, sweet potato will be the position to be in, and as soon as possible.”

Waiter, can I get a slice of sweet potato, please?

“Blast! Well, you did try to warn me, Jenkins. No one to blame but myself, eh? Still, this is a good place to be. Let’s you and I go fifty-fifty on sweet potato and then plan to move to scrambled eggs just before the close. That will leave us in a good long-term position for morning and should keep steady until lunch. Excellent work, Jenkins, m’boy. We’re expecting good things from you. See you at breakfast!”

“Yes, sir! Thank you, sir!”

This shirt was designed by: Jack Malster, a.k.a. Slow Decay. He’s from the United Kingdom, where pie was first discovered, just before four and twenty blackbirds showed up. You guys really tried some freaky things to avoid using corn syrup, didn’t you?

Wear this shirt: if you’re a piper. Just kick it around a little, you’ll figure it out.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you have the kind of friends who will say “Hey, you got a little pie right there” and then do that thing where they hit your nose when you look. Stupid jerkface friends. No wonder Kafka lived alone.

This shirt tells the world: “Caution, Filling Will Be Hot!”

We call this color: Remove When Brown, Allow To Cool Before Eating

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
1m 51.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 7% joined today
  • 2% one week old
  • 7% one month old
  • 42% one year old
  • 42% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

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Tastes Like Excel by Jack Malster
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.