3rd place in Derby #120: Double-Take Derby 7, with 806 votes!

Ahhhh. Breathe in that air, Johnny. See? Hiking with the old man isn’t so bad, is it? Feel that sun. Listen to sounds of nature that surround us. You could probably hear them a little more clearly without all that bleeping and blipping. Could you turn the volume down on your game a bit? Thanks.

Hey, look over there! See that? That, my boy, is a turtle. No, a TURTLE. No, it doesn’t “squirt” anything. NO, I DON’T KNOW WHAT LEVEL IT IS.

Honestly, you couldn’t have left that thing in the car for ten minutes? This is supposed to be a father and son vacation. You and me, hiking the forests, climbing the mountains, cooking up fish we’d caught on giant hooks, then slaughtered and thrown in a skillet. My old man used to call it “bonding” and I was happy to have that time with him.

But you, you’d rather bury your face in that silly game. Why don’t you give Dad a look? Show me what’s more important than enjoying the majesty of NatuHOLY CRAP, IS THAT A DRAGON?! An OMEGA Dragon?! What does that even meOH MY GOD, DID HE JUST SHOOT LIGHTNING AT YOU? Well, get out of the way! Jump over there! Run, son, run! PRESS “A”, BOY! PRESS “A”!

Wear this shirt: the day your child makes his first million in the gaming industry. It’ll be like saying you’re sorry for dragging him out into the wild without having to actually say it.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a National Parks Service meeting. Most rangers aren’t like guy in the Yogi Bear cartoons. Most of them carry guns.

This shirt tells the world: “Everything I learned about life, I learned from two Italian plumbers. My dad was there, too, I guess.”

We call this color: NatureDad and GameBoy Grass

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