Meanwhile, at a writer’s summit meeting, several creators and a power mad editor-in-chief plot the destruction of the Last Bit Of Joy Anyone Feels For Their Characters…

OH, I get it now! So Cap is a “Skruit!” Oh man, that’s good, Brian. That’s really good. And you’ll be able to draw it out for six to eight issues by having the characters do nothing but talk in that cute, multiple word balloon thing you like to do? Genius!

So let’s review: Peter’s wife is going to make another deal with the devil, this time with Meph… I mean, “Meat-phisto”... that changes the entire universe into anthropomorphic food items, but she’s the only one who remembers. Kieron, you’ll take care of the Chef-Men. Jonathon, you can have the Fresh-Tastic Four. Zeb, you and the rest of the boys will pick up all the stuff people only buy out of habit. Well, everyone except you, Matt. You’re still on time-out after that last crossover of yours. And in a pinch, someone flies to Britain and pokes Ellis with a stick until that person is beaten to death or Ellis writes something quick, gritty, and with not-so-subtle superhero commentary thrown in.

We do this for a couple months, make a big deal about how it “changes everything forever,” and then have it all change back to normal via, I don’t know, “Dr. Strawberry” sneezing wrong or something before the big summer movie comes out.

What the heck, let’s give it a shot. It can’t be any worse than Fear Itself, right? Sorry, Matt, I don’t mean to rub it in.

Wear this shirt: when the one you’ve been wearing is shredded due to a horrible side effect of gamma radiation exposure.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you prefer The Justice Legumes.

This shirt tells the world: “Not only am I a nerd, I am also a card carrying member of the Clean Plate Club.”

We call this color: *Ed. Note: Tony Kicked His Fruit Juice Addiction Black in Iron Pepper #128.

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