Now, let’s take a look here at these charges.

Hmm. Of course you are aware that, as your insurance representative, it’s my job to be sure that you get the very best treatment your plan allows for. So let us take a look and see… the basic plan? Well, all right. We’ll see what we’ve got to work with.

Okay, first of all, it seems that you were first sad at… thirteen? Likely it happened before then, but we don’t need to debate that part. All we can prove is that, here in your diary, you put “today I am so sad” in glitter pen. So that makes this a pre-existing condition, which means we aren’t liable for coverage. You’ll have to pay for the ROFLs and LMAOs out of your own pocket. So sorry, but my hands are tied.

As to the matter of the general malaise, I think that does seem to be a recent thing, but we’re going to have to insist you go with a generic. I’m going to hold up this picture of a kitten using bad grammar and let you stare at it for thirty seconds. Oh, and we’re not going to be able to pay for that tickle therapy either, as that comes under alternative medicine. If you ask me, it doesn’t really make you laugh at all, it’s just the placebo effect. Are you ready? Okay, here comes the kitten. Starting… now.

Wear this shirt: when you’re feeling funny.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you, like us, are aware that THE WORD HEE HAS TWO LETTER E’S IN IT AND SO “HEHE” IS OFFENSIVE AND TROUBLING AND DEMEANS US ALL. You are from England, David, you should know these things. Shame on you. Shame. On. You.

This shirt tells the world: “I developed a tolerance so they had to switch my prescription to OMG, WTF, and a horse tranquilizer.”

We call this color: Medicinal Grass

Back to top