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The Bluebird of Hopelessness

by Jamie Toon

$19.00 + free shipping
Limit 15 per customer
  • Standard - Estimated delivery Dec 23 - Dec 25
  • Express - Estimated delivery Dec 20
  • Free Express shipping for Prime members

Hey St. Jude

Enough with the bravado. Enough with the posing. Enough with the mystic Chinese or Celtic or Runic or Japanese characters that probably mean something far more embarrassing than what you think they mean. What this world needs is more honest tattoos.

Next time, instead of that meaningless fantasy tat you were going to get, try UNEMPLOYABLE in big Olde English lettering across your throat. Or maybe cover your chest with the mugshot from your most recent DUI, rendered in the style of Boris Vallejo if that makes you feel better. Or adorn your bicep with a wilted rose encircled by banners reading I’D RATHER BE WEARING SWEATPANTS.

With a real truth-in-tattooing law, it’d be so much easier to tell the difference between potential lover and pathetic loser, between cool and criminally psychotic. This t-shirt is a start – and it won’t even hurt you to wear it. Notice you never see any WIMP tattoos?

This shirt was designed by: St. Louis tattoo jockey and jolly bon vivant Jamie Toon, who had to kill, like, 50 birds with his bare hands before he found just the right model for this design. Along with having the great good fortune to be born with the awesomest big brother this side of Orwell, Jamie triumphantly triumphed in Shirt.Woot’s first-ever Analog Derby.

Wear this shirt: out on the town and maybe, just maybe, the ladies will finally let you have a moment’s peace.

Don’t wear this shirt: if it would cover up a better-looking tattoo. You probably paid more than ten bucks to have that done, right? Well, are you gonna let 7-11 tell you how to live your life?

This shirt tells the world: “The only good tattoo cliche is a dead tattoo cliche.”

We call this color: Inky Black.

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Our graphic tees are made for all those days (see every day) that you need to get shirt done! Our professionally printed t-shirts are produced in-house to create an experience you will never forget.

Seriously, our t-shirts have been a graphic tee loving enthusiast's favorite since 2007. Our t-shirt designs are created by the best artists in the industry. We know that the combination of our t-shirts, exclusive design selection, world-class artists, and quality production, makes people smile.

Sizing Chart:

Please check our sizing chart before you order.

Classic T-Shirt Fit:

This shirt is made for those of you that like a looser fitting shirt (classic seemed appropriate)! This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look Woot-astic!

  • Standard fit (slightly boxy t-shirt, a little loose)
  • Fiber Content: 4.5 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: Honduras
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA

Fitted T-Shirt Fit:

Our fitted t-shirts are made for those times when you want to feel slimmer — or when you want to go out on the town — or just because you like fitted shirts 'cause you're slim and stuff. This t-shirt is made from the finest ring spun cotton to make you look fit-astic (get it?)!

  • Fitted T-Shirt fit (narrower shoulder and body)
  • Fiber Content: 4.2 oz/yd 100% Combed ring spun cotton
  • Manufactured In: USA, Central America, Vietnam or Bangladesh
  • Printed In: Carrollton, Texas, USA


Sales Stats

Speed to First Woot:
0m 4.000s
First Sucker:
Last Wooter to Woot:

Purchaser Experience

  • 0% first woot
  • 94% second woot
  • 6% < 10 woots
  • 0% < 25 woots
  • 0% ≥ 25 woots

Purchaser Seniority

  • 10% joined today
  • 1% one week old
  • 6% one month old
  • 43% one year old
  • 40% > one year old

Quantity Breakdown

  • 94% bought 1
  • 5% bought 2
  • 1% bought 3 or more

Percentage of Sales Per Hour

12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11

Percentage of Sales Per Day

Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat Sun

Woots by State

zero wooters wootinglots of wooters wooting

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The Bluebird of Hopelessness by Jamie Toon
$19.00 In Stock Apparel & Accessories
$19.00 USD false 1 Retail EA
1 15
Woot! Shirt.Woot
4121 International Pkwy Carollton TX 75007 U.S.A.