1st place in Derby #58: Work, with 856 votes!

He thought he had it all. Riches beyond his imaginings. The adulation of millions. Widespread acknowledgement of his mastery in his field. Then why couldn’t he sleep? Why did he never feel at ease? Why did he feel like something was missing? More and more, he found himself daydreaming of childhood. The room around him would fade away and he’d feel transported back to his favorite waterslide. The water splashing around him, the breeze in his hair, the laughter of his friends – in all the years since, with all of his success, he’d never felt so fulfilled, so at peace.

So he used some of his money to build one exactly like it and lived happily ever after. The End.

This shirt was designed by: Derby contestant BootsBoots, who could really make something of himself if he’d get off that waterslide and get some work done.

Wear this shirt: if you’re too shy to let everybody else see your bare torso.

Don’t wear this shirt: to a job interview. Unless it’s to work at a water slide. Or Woot.

This shirt tells the world: “Let’s go again. Let’s go again.”

We call this color: Unfortunately For Our Writers, Waterslides Have Nothing To Do With Asphalt.

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