It’s All Relative, You See
3rd place in Derby #98: Famous Quotations Illustrated, with 710 votes!
Worms love their children just like we do. They just teach them differently. For example, worms have a different sense of when and how to teach sexual education. And they tell different proverbs to their young.
In worm school, the children learn things like “once bitten, two worms” and “give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and you should be put before a war crimes tribunal”. And every young worm knows the old adage “Worms who’d be great, all should sleep late”.
And that’s why the worm stock market opens at 2:30 pm on Saturday, and also why no bankers have ever invested in the worm stock market! Would you like this pamphlet on how the global bird conspiracy has crushed true freedom almost completely?
Wear this shirt: first thing in the morning. Roll out of bed just before noon and it won’t really resonate, now will it?
Don’t wear this shirt: in your hand. That’ll mean eight in the bush, and that’s probably possible but it’ll be really crowded and uncomfortable.
This shirt tells the world: “Yeah, they almost hired me at Twitter.”
We call this color: It’s All Over Now, Baby Bluebird On My Shoulder, It’s The Truth Hurts Little Girl, Cause It Hurts Like Hello Mudda, Hello Fadda, Here I Am At Yes, All These Hits And More Can Be Yours! Order Now!
Back to top