1st place in Derby #214: Double-Take Derby 14, with 695 votes!

WARNING: Shirt.Woot bears no responsibility for any injuries incurred while a wearer attempts to show off this shirt’s hidden talent.

You’ve no doubt been waiting a very long time for a shirt with the word “ALCHEMY” emblazoned across the front in fancy-type lettering. Who hasn’t? And now that you’ve found that your patience has been rewarded with a design that reads the same upside down as it does right side up, we bet you can’t press that big yellow “I want one!” button fast enough.

HOWEVER, due to the unconventional nature of this design, we feel the need to warn you of the possibly dire consequences that come with performing a headstand to show off your shirt when you are physically incapable of doing so safely. Such a stupid, asinine, and generally jerkwad decision could lead to injury. Instead, should you feel the need to allow others to bask in the glow of your shirt’s wonderful trickery, try a more practical approach, such as:

• Show the shirt off to loved ones while not wearing it. When properly cleaned and folded, the magic of this Alchemy shirt can be shared easily and safely with others.
   
• Should you find the above impossible, taking off your shirt in an appropriate place and manner and then letting your friends turn it upside down for themselves will work nicely. The shirt should not be overly sweaty when handed to a friend, nor should you attempt to remove it from your torso in an area where it might be indecent to do so, such as a shopping mall or nunnery.
   
• If you cannot take off your shirt without fear of law enforcement or personal embarrassment, try laying down face-up on the ground and allowing your friends to walk around you while viewing the shirt’s design. Note: Be aware of your surroundings. A crowded bar, busy street, funeral parlor, train tracks and the like are poor choices for this endeavor.
   
• If all else fails, take a picture of your chest with a smartphone you may have on hand, then send the photo to your friends’ phones. Please remember to put the shirt back on before attempting this maneuver.

Wear this shirt: while gathering stones from your college Philosophy professor’s rock garden.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you had your panacea removed as a child.

This shirt tells the world: “Ask me about Alchemy (and I’ll try to answer it in a way that doesn’t bore you to tears)!"

We call this color: Elixir Of Navy

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